I'm going to copy and paste everything I wrote down in my blog on Stardoll. These will go in order..meaning the last one will be the most up to date. Their not in paragraphs [because I'm copying+pasting] so they'll be clumped together.
7-15-08
I *think* we found out the cause to my attacks. I've had Bronchitus [i still have it dammit] and I had to take breathing treatments for my lungs. We were looking at the side effects of the medicine and it said it can cause
-anxiety
-nervousness
-hypertonia [tightness of muscles. my chest was tight]
-tremor [i was shaking]
I had all of that, except for dizziness. I'm not taking breathing treatments anymore so hopefully I'll feel better FINALLY. God.I went to the doctor again today and they gave me DISGUSTING medicine. Omfg its terrible! But aslong as it helps me..then i suppose its ok
7-18-08
Today I had another panic attack and it was really bad, way worse than my first one. My mom had to call the ambulance because my dad wasn't at home. But right as the ambulance came, my dad got home. So I got to ride in an ambulance and the paramedic guy looked like Frank Iero, lmao.I was in the hospital for about 3 hours. They had to do blood work on me. First they took blood from where my elbow bends...which wasn't that bad. It was my first time getting blood taken and I was freaked out.About 30 minuets after that a different lady came in and she was going to take blood from my wrist! Except the other lady took blood from my vein, but this one took it from my arterie, which is waaaaay more painful.Omfg, she hurt me so bad. She said my arteries kept "rolling" and she couldn't get the needle in the right place. She was sticking me over and over and it is so painful! It felt like getting bee stung in the same spot over and over.NOW my doctor said I went into a panic attack because I've been sick. He also said my cough medicine caused anxiety and tightness in my chest. So I'm not taking that cough medicine anymore. God, its like everytime I get medicine it has a negative effect on me. This crazy nurse lady was teaching me how to breathe when I feel a panic attack coming. I have to breathe in for 6 seconds, hold my breath, then exhale. It helps alot. They can't give me any medicine for anxiety because "at such a young age the side effects would be devastating" and that freaked me out. The nurse was giving me some speech about overcoming anxiety without medication...yep.Well yeah, so theres another update. I really want to get better by Tuesday so I can goto the Fair.
7-20-08
Last night I started feeling acid coming up in my throat [gross I know.]And I was getting angry and got really emo and took a fork and scraped it down my arm [out of frustration.] It seriosuly felt like no would help me. So my mom was getting really stressed out with all of the problems I've been having lately and she and my dad took me out to a different hospital.I was there for 6 hours! I got there at 9:30pm and got out around 3am. These doctors were better than the ones I've been seeing. They checked me out thoroughly and told me that I would have to go see an Ear Nose and Throat doctor. They'll have to put a light down my throat and see whats causing me problems. I'm on a liquid diet now, because I have trouble swallowing solid foods. I mean I can swallow food, but it is so difficult and it take sooooo long to finish it. But yeah..I should be back to normal soon..but I'm not getting my hopes up. I've forgotten what normal is. Before I left the hospital they gave me this disgusting stuff that numbed my mouth all the way down to my stomach. It numbed me good!! Outrageous...I couldn't feel my tongue moving around in my mouth. It was actually scarey because it felt like I was going to choke and it felt like I couldn't breathe, but it did take the pain away. Plus it made me high lol.Now I'm on some acid reflux medication. I have to take it two times a day, I try to take it before 4pm. But I just took it for the first time and it isn't that bad. My throat isn't burning and thats good sign.This summer has been complete hell!
7-21-08
Ok, so while I'm not having a panic attack I'm going to tell y'all ahead of time. I'm going to be going to a hospital out in the city. They have all the equipment to help me. I'll most likely not be on here for a few days.I cannot eat anything and I'm so hungry and I'm about to go fxcking crazy because I've been going through this for so long.But by time I'm on here again I should be normal? God I hope so...
That's all I wrote. So I'll be missing the fair =[ And my friend that I was going with is now going with my ex-friend. I hate everything. I can't eat, I'm losing weight, my throat burns, I'm really upset. And the stupid doctors won't do anything to help me!! Their like "well, if she can drink liquids then every things fine." HELLO?! I'M FREAKIN STARVING!!! I've lost 10 lbs within 4 days. I want EVERYONE to know what this feels like. I want everyone to suffer like I am and no one will help them. I have never been so sick. I've got to wait until Monday to have a light run down my throat. I'm also going to have to drink some stuff and have an x-ray of my throat to see if something is blocking my food pipe. I think its called a barrel swallow? I have no idea. I just hope I can swallow the stuff they give me. The only liquids so far that I can swallow without any problem is water and apple juice.
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